Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
