I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
