Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
