I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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