I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
