You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize