and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
