wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
