Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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