PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
