I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
