I just threw up on my dentist
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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