Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Dude my mom stole all your condoms

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(650): View more from California

like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

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(773): View more from Illinois

he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off

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(510): View more from California

Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"

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(775): View more from Nevada

It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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(276): View more from Virginia

my poor anus

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day

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