no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
