I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
