I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize