I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it's like heaven, but drunker
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
