i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
