3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize