I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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