Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
