my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
that's an acceptable place to lick
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
