He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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