you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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