I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
