We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
