It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
