Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
