She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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