It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
