from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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