direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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