69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize