About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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