i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
