I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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