I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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