talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
