Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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