It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
