That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize