We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
