A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
