Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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