Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
