Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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