Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
