How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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