just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
