You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
