thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
