i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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