i think i have herpe
just one?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize