Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
