We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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