So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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