before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
