Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
