i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
