Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
