We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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