Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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