Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
