It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
