i just google imaged poop.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
