Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize