If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
