It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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