I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
