Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
