the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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