so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
