It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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