i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
