I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
