We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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