Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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